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Making the Sister Connection

After returning from India, and being fully entranced in yoga, I embraced the yogic lifestyle.  I had a solid daily yoga practice and I was a successful yoga teacher. My practice of Yoga and meditation was feeding me physically and spiritually, I was conscious of my health and habits, speech, and even the company I kept.  My relationship to my body, mind and spirit grew deeper; yet at the same time I was becoming aware of my growing need for meaningful exploration of my life, my work, and my truth.

One day while browsing in my favorite bookstore, I happened upon a book with a curious title, Sisters of the Yam. It was the red cover I noticed first. The cover featured a photograph of a black woman walking away from us. Her strong back sashaying in a loosely fitted white dress, her hair blowing wild and free.  I instantly felt a primal connection to this woman. She appeared to be floating, yet solidly grounded there bearing a silver water pitcher in one hand, and a plastic water bottle in the other, a juxtaposition of vessels. And I was moved. She was me and every woman of color attempting to balance life.  I sat in the book store and read half of the book before I actually paid for it.

In Sisters of the Yam, author bell hooks examines a black woman's need for healing and self examination. She invites her black female university students suffering from depression, disconnection and other social problems into what I call a healing circle. A place where black women could come together to support each others growth, challenges and healing.  I discovered even with my years of intensive yoga study, practice and the healthful living choices and changes I had made, I was missing  a connection to nurture sustain and support my personal growth. 

I decided then and there to create the sacred Sister Connection for myself and other women of color. This connection would provide an opportunity to unite as we shared our emotions and feelings openly and honestly, a place where we could explore yoga and other holistic approaches for our health and well being, a politically safe arena where we could deal with and dialogue about racism and its impact, and a sacred space where we could rest and renew. Voila, the Yoga Retreat for Women of Color was born.

What is the sister connection? It happens when women of color come together for healing. There we are able to connect with one another, see one another, and see our reflections in the eyes of one another.  We can explore self love, connect to our spirits and freely express our hopes, fears and dreams.

Groups of women now come regularly to make the sister connection at the Yoga Retreat for Women of Color. Lydia Douglas’ shared with us her documentary film, 'Nappy' and then we talked and laughed about our hair; Jill Nelson, author of the best seller, Volunteer Slavery, talked with us about how women of color and particularly black women could change the paradigm we had bought into of not loving one another, not accepting one another, and she said, “when you see a sister who looks good, tell her!” Women with cancer and over-worked physicians seek ways to cope and survive. Women living with aids, drug addiction, and alcoholism breathe, and do yoga then peel away the husks of merely surviving and live free for one more day... one more hour.  We share our feelings about racism, sexism and societal inequality. A soldier seeks peace and a gay woman looks to accept and be accepted. Mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, and mothers-in-laws deal with obesity and anorexia. A college professor explains about racism in academia and her struggle with depression.  Siblings from Rwanda share their pain and seek witness to the slaughters. We share the connection to talk about jobs, school, marriage, divorce, and life in general.

A sister connection might be viewed as a group of women just hanging out talking, releasing, sharing, and supporting one another, but making the sister connection also reminds that there is no separation; that we are connected no matter what our life circumstances.  The acts of listening, watching, laughing, crying, holding one another, soothing one another is akin to how the practice of yoga connects each of us to our inner most, divine self. And like yoga, making The Sister Connection is a practice, one that nurtures, honors, heals and teaches.
True, many issues bubble up and rise to the surface when we connect, but there is joy, like no other, of being together-- loving our hips, and our walk, our laugh, our hair and our smiles. A woman once shared with me that she felt that being in the sister connection was like warm arms circled snuggly around her yet within this she felt free.

The Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health is the site for the bi annual Yoga Retreat for Women of Color. Kripalu offers just the right amenities to promote healing and renewal; beautiful yet simple surroundings, healthy food, and a nurturing holistic environment. It is an environment conducive to healing and self exploration; a place where I can introduce women of color to the many benefits of the yoga and it is space where women can let go, relax and simply 'be'.
Making my sister connection has taken me full circle. I have not only taught but I have learned. I’ve honed my skills in the art of listening with an open heart to situations similar and dissimilar to mine. Like my sisters, I have embraced and released, and more importantly I have learned to share my stories. I have made The Sister Connection and I cannot imagine any woman living with out this privilege.

© Maya Breuer
Make The Sister Connection at the next Yoga Retreat for Women of Color October 27-29 2006
Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health Lenox, Mass. Visit www.kripau.org to register
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